Captain Keith and the Frost Beast of Yalor

Chapter 12: Alone on the Ice

Captain Keith pried the hyper-goggles from his eyes to get a better look at the damage to his knee. It was worse than he'd thought. He looked on the ground a yard away and realized that what he'd mistaken for a rock was actually his patella. Fortunately, the Galactic Monks of Cyrius with whom he'd studied had taught him a method for controlling his blood-flow, so he was able to close off the arteries around the wound. A lesser man would have bled out by now.

The major problem he faced was more challenging than mere blood loss. The Frost Beast had dragged him far away from Ice Base Zero. The creature had destroyed his OmniCom, so there was no way to summon a transport. A ten-mile run would normally be something Captain Keith could do while his Martian L'k'thok tea was steeping. At this moment, though, he was in the middle of a mega-blizzard with a leg wound that would have any other mortal sobbing and yelling for his nanny-bot.

It was good, then, that Captain Keith was no mere mortal. His intellect, sharper than an Andromedan dagger, formulated a survival plan. He used the nuclear adhesive he kept in his space pack to glue his patella back in place. He blasted a perfect circle in the ice with his laser. Then he lowered his fractured leg into the hole. The cold was more intense than a night of passion with a pair of Venusian twins, but Captain Keith was more than accomplished at willing himself to ignore pain. 

He pulled his leg out of the sub-ice ocean and the layer of water which clung to his leg instantaneously froze. Captain Keith immediately plunged his leg back into the frigid sea. When he once again raised his lower appendage from the icy depths, another layer of ice formed on top of the first. Again and again, Captain Keith stuck his leg into the hole, each time emerging with a slightly thicker layer of ice, until, finally, his leg was encased in a two-inch-thick, crystalline sheath.

Captain Keith took a few tentative steps on his injured limb. The ice-cast did little to ease the pain caused by each step, but it held his weight. 

"Yes," thought the Space Explorer, "that ought to hold out for about ten miles. I'll be back at Ice Base Zero in time to watch the Intergalactic Space News." And with that, he set off at a leisurely fifteen miles-per-hour pace.

Captain Keith and the Chameleon of Magor

Chapter 1: Two Against the Horde

Captain Keith paused in the middle of his nightly 5,000 push-up routine. He threw his legs into the air and flipped to his feet, his hyper-keen ears searching for the noise that had roused him from his fitness trance.

He walked to the window and pulled aside the curtain to look out the window of the space-inn where he was staying and out onto the street that ran through the center of the village of Kosar, the only inhabited town on planet Tryzub. The sight that greeted him was startling.

He saw a mass of villagers, some carrying Venusian electro-torches, some brandishing laser rifles. He heard angry cries and voices raised in hate. At the front of the crowd, two men held a young woman between them, her tear-strewn face a mask of fear. Captain Keith reached for his ZX9 Laser Gun and headed out to investigate.

When he emerged onto the street, he heard someone shout, "Hang it!"

Another man yelled a reply, "Hang it, hell! It might grow wings and fly away. Burn it!"

"Nooo!" the young woman yelled in terror.

Captain Keith called out. "Excuse me!" The crowd parted automatically at the sound of Captain Keith's commanding voice. He made his way to the front of the mob.

One of the men holding the young woman addressed him. "Just who in the Seven Hells of Neptune do you think you are?"

Captain Keith flashed his badge. Several of the men in the crowd gasped. "I'm Captain Keith of the Space Explorers. What seems to be going on here?"

The leader of the crowd spit a wad of phlegm on the ground. "We found this here creature up to no good and now we're gonna show it what happens when something threatens us."

"Please help me!" the young woman cried. "I was just refueling my ship on my way to Majriti. I was using the restroom when these men grabbed me. You must believe me: I've done nothing wrong!"

Captain Keith raised an eyebrow. "Is what this young woman says true?"

The leader barked an ugly, guffaw. "'Young woman'!?! This ain't no young woman. It's a monster that was using this disguise to prey on our ladyfolk!"

One of Captain Keith's most defining characteristics was his instant grasp of the truth of almost any situation. But for once in his incredible life, he was well and truly confused. "Disguise? What are you talking about?"

A short, squat man in a dirty jumpsuit screeched, "It's a Magooooorian!"

And there was the problem. The people of Magor were shape-shifters. They had no set body or gender. This caused fear among people of lesser intellect. Captain Keith addressed the leader.

"By what authority are you threatening this woman's life?"

The man released the young lady's arm and marched toward Captain Keith, his tall, shiny white boots squelching in the Tryzubbian mud. "I done told you, 'Space Explorer,' that ain't no woman. An' as for who I am, my name's Rondo Santeez and I'm the goddamn governor of this outpost, so people round here tend to listen to me. We don't allow nobody here who ain't wearing the body they was born in and the sentence for anyone who breaks that law is death!"

Captain Keith tried not to recoil in disgust at the man's smell. He cracked his knuckles, causing one man on the edge of the crowd to run away. "I guess we have a problem, then, Governor. Because if you even try to harm that woman, I will break every bone in your body and I will not find it the least bit difficult."

After a momentary flash of fear flashed across Santeez's face, he sneered, "Well, I hope you had a good breakfast this morning. 'Cause you got a whole bunch of my friends to get through before you touch me."

"I had what I always have: a half cup of Plutonian yogurt and a Cosmic Crisp apple. Let's do this."

Captain Keith and the Saturnian Saboteur

 

Chapter 30: The Endgame Comes to a Final Close

The counter ticked down.

"Thirty seconds!" yelled Cadet M'g'n.

The young crew members looked anxiously at Captain Keith. "Steady on, team," he said, in his soothing baritone. He knew that the real enemy now was not this mysterious saboteur who had been plaguing the ship. It was panic. To someone of Captain Keith's intellect, practically no problem was beyond saving, if one kept one's cool and hewed to analysis, not desperation.

"Staff Sergeant Joh," said Major José through gritted teeth, "Now would be a great time for you to wrap this up."

Keith looked at Joh and did his best to suppress his contempt. Which was difficult. The man was the antithesis of everything the Space Explorers stood for. He was slovenly. Lazy. Unable to play a musical instrument. And right now, he was all that stood between Captain Keith's crew and a core explosion that would send them hurtling into the cold vacuum of space.

Lieutenant EvAn pulled Captain Keith aside and hissed, "By the sea winds of Neptune, Keith, can't you step in and fix this?"

"EvAn, there's a reason ships have crews," Keith said, " It's true that there's precious little in the galaxy that falls out of my incredibly large area of expertise, but the inner workings of atomic space-drive engines fall into that narrow category. I fought off the Cygnian pirates that attacked us; I rescued Major José from their clutches; I welded the new cargo hatch into place and I made us soup. This...this is in Joh's hands."

"Wait a minute! Wait just a Venusian pico-second!" It was Rahn-Da, the Science Officer from E-Minear 7. "There's no saboteur!"

Major José's mouth hung open and his space cigar dropped to the deck. "What are you talking about?"

Rahn-Da's eyes glowed with fury. "Nobody has been deliberately undermining us. It's just that this flektar is bad at his job!"

Joh hung his head. Clearly, the use of the worst slur the Rigellian language had to offer had stung.

Captain Keith fixed the pathetic wretch with his comforting gaze. "Joh, whatever has happened up to this point, whatever gross incompetence you've shown, however badly you've shirked your duty...you can still do this. I believe in you."

Joh straightened up slightly. He wiped the snot from his lip and gave a nod. Captain Keith had given the idiot the smallest piece of his own ineffable willpower. He raised his space-wrench in a salute. "Okay, Captain. I'll tr--"

Captain Keith and the Ministers of Hate

Chapter II: Terror on Gacrux Seven.

Captain Keith and Private Timmy stepped cautiously down the gang-plank. Acrid smoke filled the air and the sky rang with the mournful cries of the villagers. 

"Suffering supernovas, Captain Keith!" said Private Timmy. "What in the galaxy happened to these people?"

Captain Keith's brow furrowed and his granite jaw clench in and anger that even his unmatched self-control struggled to contain. "Some monster has devastated these poor people, Timmy. And I need to find the beast and make it pay."

A frail hand touched Captain Keith's steely bicep. A quavering voice said, "Not a monster, Captain."

Captain Keith looked down into the withered face of an ancient Gacruxian fellow, his wrinkled visage marked by bruises and stained with dried blood. As the old gentleman used his cane to straighten himself up, he continued, "This destruction was not wrought by any beast; it came at the hands of men."

Private Timmy gasped. "Men?!?"

The old man nodded. "Earth men." His message delivered, the Gracruxian's antennae wilted, the strength left his legs and he collapsed to the ground like a sack of Neptunian ultra-peas. 

"Earth men? But, Captain Keith, how could that be? Gacrux Seven just joined the League of Planets. Earth leaders worked for a generation to bring them into the fold! Why would any Earth men want to harm them?"

Suddenly, Captain Keith crouched low, his hyper-keen vision having spotted something in the ash and grit on the ground. When he stood, his powerful frame once more filling the sky, he held in his hand a green patch.

Private Timmy leaned in to get a look.

"A patch?" he said. "I've never seen one like it before. Why does it have a cross and a flaming space ship on it?"

Captain Keith didn't answer immediately. His eyes, more fine-tuned than those of a Rigelian hunting falcon scanned the horizon. 

"These particular Earth men don't want more planets in the League. These men--these monsters--believe that Earth is superior to every other planet and they want all aliens to know their place."

"Great shooting comets! How could they be so backward and stunted in their thinking?"

"Ancient earth men were staggeringly bigoted and it's never fully left our race. This is a group of cowards who want to blame their problems on anyone different from themselves. This is a group of so-called men who want to keep Earth just for Earthlings. This is the work of the Ministers of Hate."

"The Ministers of Hate?" gasped Private Timmy.

"That's right," replied Captain Keith, "and I'm going to wipe them out. For good."

Captain Keith and the Doom Plague

Chapter 37: A Desperate Gambit

An eerie quiet greeted Captain Keith as he opened the airlock and entered Space Explorers Headquarters. The normally teeming halls were empty. In the silence, the hissing of the ventilation system seemed magnified to an ear-shattering volume.

Captain Keith moved as silently as a Plutonian ice-panther, his coiled sinews poised to react at the first sign of danger. His mind raced. His last contact with Explorer High Command had been twenty nega-minutes ago, and Colonel Ries hadn't indicated any problems. Clearly, that was no longer the case.

As he stealthily rounded the corner onto the main corridor, he saw them. Dozens of his comrades lay on the floor, strewn about like Centaurian ragdolls. Calling upon the medical knowledge he'd gained when he got his space-physician license at age 9, Captain Keith checked the pulse of one poor devil slumped up against the passage wall. Alive. But barely. Time, then, was of the essence.

Captain Keith flew down the hallway using every bit of speed that had allowed him to win the Epsilon V Mega-Marathon ten years in a row. His way was littered with Space Explorers laid low by whatever this intruder was.

Captain Keith's steely logic told him that he would find his adversary on the bridge. Whatever the goal of this invader, he reasoned, he would need to threaten those in charge.

Captain Keith paused outside the door to the bridge. He used his incredibly fine-tuned hearing to listen for any sinister conversation, any discharge of weapons, any sign of a struggle...but he heard nothing. He took a calm, deep breath and touched the contact. The door slid noiselessly open.

The scene on the bridge mirrored that he'd seen in the hall. Bodies clinging to life littered the floor. Colonel Ries sat slumped in his command chair. Carefully monitoring his surroundings, Captain Keith made his way to the colonel. As he reached down to check the old man's pulse, the colonel's eyes suddenly opened wide and turned upon Captain Keith.

"Cap-p-p-taaain K-k-eeeeeeeeeith," Colonel Ries hissed. Instantly, Captain Keith understood that these words were not coming from his commander, but from some other intelligence that was using the colonel like a Jovian ventriloquist.

"Who are you?" said Captain Keith, in his calm, firm baritone.

"Wearenot annnn enemy yyyyoooou canvanquishCaptainnnn," said the being speaking through his friend.

"Well," replied Captain Keith, "I supposed we'll have to see about that."

The colonel gave an ugly, rumbling cackle. "Nnnnoo, Captain. You cannotdefeat annn invader yyyyou cannottouch. You cannotdefeat annn enemy thatmultiplies exponentially by the second. You cannot destroooooyyy a foe that courses through men's very veins.

"A virus," thought Captain Keith. "I'm speaking to a virus."

With the speed of Venusian lightning, Captain Keith formulated a plan. His mighty arm flew forth and his steely fist fractured the nose of Colonel Ries. In the next pico-second, he pulled a sample vial from his belt and captured some of the stream of blood that poured forth from the old man's nostrils.

As the colonel collapsed back onto his chair, Captain Keith raced to his lab. "If my calculations are correct," he thought, "I've got about forty-five minutes to turn this blood sample into a cure. That's about seventeen more minutes than I need."

Captain Keith and the Mind-Thieves of Titan

Chapter I: A Creeping Dread

"By the fetid fumes of Mercury!"

Captain Keith ripped the Omniforum helmet from his head and hurled it across the room in what was, for him, a rare loss of temper.

Cia of Mars looked up from her star charts, her brow furrowed over her stunning azure eyes. "My love, what is the matter?" she asked, concerned.

His ire raised, Captain Keith stalked around the room like a Rigellian Multi-Tiger. "These fools on the Omniforum!" he spat. "The way they blather on, spouting nonsense and believing it to be wisdom. I try to understand their reasoning, to put myself in their thoughtspace, but their views are so astoundingly wrong-headed and illogical that I fear it will drive me mad!"

"Star of My System, there are beings whose path has taken them into a mental and spiritual black hole, from whence they will never return. To try to steer them from their course is as futile as it is noble."

Captain Keith paused by the window and stared out into the stormy Martian sky. "Cia, these are men who were my colleagues in the academy. They come from backgrounds so similar to my own. How can they have fallen sway to such vexatious ways of seeing the universe when the flaws in their ratiocination are so evident to me? Is it possible that I'm the one whose perspective has been warped? Could it be that my cognition has been corrupted somehow and that there's actually some wisdom to the idea that we are all made safer when everyone is in possession of Venusian vapor grenades?"

Cia went to Captain Keith and took his hands in her own. She fixed him with a gaze as steely as a Centaurian Hawk. "Star of My System, there is no being in the known universe whose logic is as impeccable as yours. Doubt that the sun will rise. Doubt that rain comes from clouds. But do not doubt the soundness of your reason."

Suddenly, the door of their quarters burst open. A figure collapsed through the threshold and spilled onto the luminous emerald Uranian marble of their floor. Captain Keith rushed to the figure and turned it over to reveal a face that wore the ghastly expression of one who has been pushed past his limits and has little hope of returning. The man's shiny pate was bruised. Blood caked on his swollen lips. His eyes bulged like those of the hypno-sloth of Tau Ceti IV. Despite this, there was, somewhere in this man's pitiable visage, something that was as familiar to Captain Keith as his own hands.

"Dannap?" He said.

"Captain Keith," the man rasped. "Have I actually reached you? Or is this another of their tricks?"

Cia had brought a sifter of Plutonian brandy. Keith waved its healing scent under the man's nose. He sat a little straighter, saw a little clearer. He reached for the cup and drank. The alertness the beverage granted him brought with it a sharpened fear. "If you are actually Captain Keith and not some fiendish illusion, tell me the name of the admiral who led the academy."

"His name, my friend, was Cor-L."

Dannap relaxed visibly. "Forgive me my suspicions, old friend. I no longer know who to trust."

Captain Keith helped Dannap into a chair. He looked at the man before him and tried to reconcile this figure with the care-free young lad whose flowing curls and roguish smile had made him the star of the academy. "Dannap, please, you must tell me what has driven you to this state."

"The conspiracy I have unearthed, old chum, is so insidious that I have never seen its like. I have stumbled onto a plan to take over the entire galaxy. Not with armadas. Not with warriors. With mind control. And almost everyone we knew from the academy..."

He took a drink,

"...is already taken."

Captain Keith and the Emperor of Arcturus

Chapter XXII: The Emperor Unmasked

Captain Keith twisted in the grip of the two Gremulak giants. Only his utter mastering of his emotions kept him from screaming in rage and frustration. To have been so close; one touch of his finger to the contact of his ZX9 Laser Gun and he could have toppled the tyrant who had managed to subvert an entire galaxy. He could have freed every sentient being in a thousand parsecs. 

But, no. If there was anything true about Captain Keith, it was that he dealt with the universe as it was, not as it would be in some schoolgirl fantasy. He'd failed. Somehow, after making his way across five systems without aid from the depleted Space Explorers; with C'ia and her small team taking on their own dangerous mission; after flawlessly infiltrating the mysterious Emperor's Inner Circle; after quietly dispatching the sinister G'orka and the sniveling Spy-sor, he--Captain Keith, who had once managed to spend a week in disguise as a member of the Neptunian Mega-Sheik's harem--had been detected, moments before he'd struck the killing blow. 

So be it.

The thing to do now was to adjust and create a new plan. 

The Gremulak giants pulled him to the base of the throne stairs and, there, they held him. The Emperor's hideously deformed vizier, Ban-1 descended the stairs and stood before Captain Keith. The stench from his greying, pustulous skin wafted over Captain Keith and he felt his gorge rise. He clamped his jaw shut; vomiting in front of a creature such as this would be a sign of weakness, one which Captain Keith would not permit himself.

Ban-1 ran his tongue over his cracked, peeling lips and gave a smirk. "Did you truly think, Captain, that the galaxy's most recalcitrant rebel would be able to pass through His Galactic Imperial Majesty's palace undetected?"

Captain Keith fixed his steely gaze on the cretin's watery eyes, took a brief moment of satisfaction when Ban-1's eyes wavered, then said, "I didn't care, as long as I get to feel your throat between my hands. And if you think you've avoided that fate, you're mistaken."

An unctuous voice came from the throne. "Oh no, Space Explorer, you will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things."

The Emperor rose from his throne and descended the stairs, talking as he came toward Captain Keith.

"Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends, including C'ia of Mars, are walking into a trap, as is your Rebel fleet. It was I who allowed the Explorers to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them. Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive."

The Emperor was standing directly in front of Captain Keith now. There was something familiar, almost, about the shadowy face beneath the hood.

Spittle flew from the Emperor's lips as he spoke, "This is the end of your pitiful rebellion." He pulled down his hood and Captain Keith's eyes widened in horror, momentarily overcoming his legendary self-control.

"Thedo Nald! No! I broke your slimy neck," the Space Explorer gasped.

Thedo Nald smirked and ran a hand through what only the most charitable being in the universe might call his "hair." My minions found me in the wretched state you left me in. They nursed me back to health and convinced me that the best way to avenge myself against you was not to end your negligible life, but rather to take over the entire galaxy and remake it in my image." He laughed, a braying, oily sound that would make the femto-lemmings of Ceres run screaming off a cliff.

"This has all been about revenge against me?" Captain Keith could barely believe it.

Thedo Nald turned toward him. "You fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand." He nodded at the Gremulak giants. Captain Keith felt a sharp blow to his skull and he descended swiftly into unconsciousness.